he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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