I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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