Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
