some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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