awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
