PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize