I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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