i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
And then he peed in my hair
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