Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
