Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize