nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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