This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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