Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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