Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
