remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
