My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
