I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
