Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize