Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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