dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize