I love black thongs
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
