I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
