Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
