how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
