I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
