Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
