i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
