he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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