don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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