I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
