I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
