I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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