id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
