Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
kristin has been a bad kristin
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
that's an acceptable place to lick
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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