how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
