Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize