Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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