there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
