Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
