You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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