Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
