I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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