I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
