well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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