We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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