i think i have herpe
just one?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i will never coherently bang her
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
