At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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