How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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