But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
