My balls are so social today.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
