what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
