I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
