Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
