escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
