so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it because I queefed?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
