I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize