Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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