I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
