quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
