yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
